yeah...

Well...Blogging. How the mighty have fallen. So many times have I laughed at those that feel they must air their personal lives for the world to see, hoping for some kind of ridiculously shallow validation for their seemingly vapid existences...Or, those that constantly blog complete BS to make their friends, aquaintances, and complete electronic strangers view the sterilized 'stepford wives' versions of their lives...Never a post about how the laundry hasn't been done in two weeks, or how the car tag is over a year expired. No, somebody might not think that as decent. There might be a negative 'post'.

And yet, here I am, blogging. Why? Do I need your, or somebody's validation? well, on some level, on some things, I guess, yeah. But that's not it. I am one of the most reserved and secure people I know. I mean, I am secure in what I need to be, if I am not, and am not 'wandering in the wilderness' looking for someone to give me some direction. Where I stay lost in life, it is by ridiculous personal choice, some kind of hang up, and of course demonic influence (did I just say that out loud??)

Is it that I want to give the world some crystal window with which to sanitize my life, thereby giving me a bully-pulpit to sell myself as I would have you view me? Let's be clear. I have enough skeletons in my closet to start an anatomy supply store. I certainly am not looking to justify them publicly. God forbid they ever come to light period. No, I'll save confession to those prayers that seem to happen at around 4:30 AM or so.

Vulgaris Vir, Rarus Specultio...Common man, uncommon observations. Yes, I am as common as they come. I am average height. Slightly overweight. I am not plain but no super model, either. I dropped out in the ninth grade. I am a brick layer that is self employed who only averages 2 hours of sleep every Thursday because I don't know if I can pay myself and my guys every Friday. (It's funny how people close to me have missed that for like five years. You'd expect somebody to finally ask 'Why do you look like freshly shaved Hell every Friday morning? Is coffee going out of style this weekend?') I find myself, however, stuck with thoughts that seem to be uncommon for a man of my position and education. How can I really know unless I expose these thoughts outside of the normal circles with which I have exposure and would normally dare to express them in. Am I seeing and experiencing things about life and our existence that are remarkable, or do I just express the unremarkable to people that are polite enough to remark? Do I really delve deep into the fabric of metaphysics (from a non-scholarly standpoint) or have I just watched too many 'b' movies? (No, there is nothing to do with space aliens in this blog). So, I guess, in the end, some of it IS validation that I seek. That, and the need to bring to others things I think are under-emphasized about our world and lives, but that I feel are important for all of us.